International Women's Day | What is a strong woman?

In honour of International Women's Day I was going to talk about being a 'strong woman', but as I spent time thinking about it I couldn't actually define what a 'strong woman' is.

Is a woman with flaws still strong? Can we be emotional, irrational and still be considered a strong woman? If not, then I'm not sure a 'strong woman' is a real thing and maybe more of an abstract concept not applicable to real life (huh, an abstract concept of women not applicable to real humans...that's a new one). Or do we present a false image of ourselves and hide our flaws for fear of being seen as 'weak'?

My favourite women are those who know what they're about - they give the good and the bad in equal measure. Lena Dunham's Hannah Horvath in Girls is probably my favourite example of this kind of woman. Love her or hate her, she knows her flaws and rocks on anyway.
A flawed woman is still a strong woman.

I am strong in ways that probably make me blunt, stubborn, and maybe a little bit ferocious, but I'm less strong in lots of ways too (home alone at night - can't do it). I follow my own path and I'll call your shit out with no hesitation but I also have a short temper, very little patience, and am incredibly self-conscious.
Does that still make me strong? I think so.

So in honour of real women I thought I'd share some books with some of my favourite strong but flawed women:

To The Lighthouse; The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; I Love Dick; The Weather in the Streets

To The Lighthouse has one of my all time favourite female characters: Mrs Ramsay. I make no secret of my love of Virginia Woolf so it's no surprise that this is on my list. Mrs Ramsey is a beautiful, charitable wife and mother of many children. Her strength comes in acknowledging the flaws in her own marriage and yet her steadfast belief in her role and duties as wife and mother is to the detriment of others around her. And yet, I love her.

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories is a collection of short stories by the wonderful Angela Carter. Inspired by fairy tales, they take a darker turn. These girls are young, bold, and brave but they're not all as quick-witted as we'd like our fairy tale characters to be.

I Love Dick. Oh Chris Kraus. First of all, the Amazon TV adaptation of this is excellent, would definitely recommend. Chris Kraus's 'novel' (it's a thinly veiled memoir) documents her obsession with the eponymous Dick, a man she meets, falls in love with, and subsequently bombards with letters and phone calls. The protagonist is never ashamed of her obsession or her sexual desires, is open with her husband about it and willingly defies the contract of their marriage, but she's also probably doesn't make the best life choices...either way, this book is a must-read.

The Weather in the Streets, first published in 1936, follows the story of quintessential independent flapper girl Olivia and her affair with a married man, Rollo. Rollo's not the best guy, and city-girl Olivia doesn't have the best time. This is a beautiful tale of difficult, painful love and the realities of female sexuality.

Wide Sargasso Sea; The Robber Bride; The Power; The Neapolitan Novels

Wide Sargasso Sea. If you ever catch me daydreaming, I'm probably thinking about this book. It's where my head wanders to when I'm lost in a daze. When I think of this book, I picture Antoinette Cosway's long, thick black hair, endless greenery, and frangipani. Wide Sargasso Sea is Jean Rhys' imagining of the life of Antoinette Cosway and Mr Rochester before she becomes Bertha Mason, the madwoman in the attic of Jane Eyre. Antoinette is beautiful, sexual, and thoroughly unwilling to accept mistreatment at the hands of her wealthy English husband which is, ultimately, her demise.

The Robber Bride follows the lives of four women. Three friends, Roz, Charis and Tony, each strong but with their own personal weaknesses, and the hyper-sexual, dangerous Zenia. This may sound like a classic good vs evil but every woman in this book is complicated, emotional and utterly real, if a little extra.

The Power was one of my favourite books I read last year. It's written for a teenage audience so it doesn't have the most sophisticated prose and there's a lot of iPhones but the message and the idea is so good I loved it anyway. Set many years in the future, The Power documents life after women develop the power to release electrical jolts, powered by a muscle along their collarbone. The power starts with young girls and spreads throughout the world like a virus. What would happen if, after centuries of oppression, women could finally fight back?

The Neapolitan Novels are my greatest love of recent years. Elena Ferrante writes the tale of Lenu and Lila, two best friends growing up on the outskirts of Naples. Her writing is visceral, emotional and powerful. I have loved every moment of following the lives of these two intelligent women and will be heartbroken to finish the series when I read the final novel this summer (this book and lots of others are on my 2018 Reading List). They love, learn and fight with the passion and heart of any real woman.

What does being a strong woman mean for you?